Writers Need to have A Short Memory: Dealing with Rejection.
Stand around a group of writers and, at some point, a conversation about dealing with rejection will pop up. It doesn’t matter how “thick” your skin is, rejection hurts. And some hurt worse than others. Whether it’s a review, critique, answers to query letter, or in the editing process, someone along the journey isn’t going to like something, and they’re sure to tell you all about it.
One of my more notable experiences with rejection came straight from a writing contest I had entered. I was over the moon when I found out my story had made it into the top three, and had been sent to an acquiring editor. The sweet news soon soured when I opened the final critique I had looked forward to reading. As part of that critique, the editor chose to express her opinion that I should “never put pen to paper ever again.” That comment, and the rest of the comments that particular professional editor sent, wasn’t helpful in my pursuit to become a better writer. They weren’t constructive. They were meant to hurt, and at that moment, that editor definitely succeeded in crushing my spirit.
I’ll be brutally honest. I cried. I considered starting a bonfire in my backyard and burning every note, article, drawing I’d ever put on paper, even the love poems I’d written to my husband. I almost deleted every document on my computer that I’d ever written. If I’d taken that person’s advice, my writing life, something that had been an escape, a love, a sacred place, would have ended that day.
Instead of letting those scathing words defeat me, I took a sports analogy to heart and left the past in the past. It is often said that defensive backs in football have to have a short memory and be able to focus on the future. They get burned for a touchdown on one play, but have to be able to shut down the next pass that comes their way. Authors have to be the same way. Take criticism one day. Begin a best seller the next.
My writing juices got ignited. I didn’t care how long it took, or how many heart-stopping rejections I got along the way, I was determined to make the next play.
I worked on the craft of writing, enlisted some trusted professionals who wanted to see me succeed, and didn’t let any rejections that came my way break me.
Defensive backs work hard, learn from every play, and have a short memory. I choose that approach in my writing career and in life. Join me and forget about those rejections, work hard every day, and never, never, never give up.
Title: Ella’s Triple Pleasure
Author: Anna Lores
Genre: Contemporary Erotic Romance
This work contains mature content, including graphic sexual descriptions and scenes, and is provided for adults only.
It takes three men to satisfy one woman’s needs…
Single mom and massage therapist Ella Winthrop isn’t looking for a relationship. She has enough problems without risking a business that barely meets her needs. Then her world is turned upside down by three men, each offering something she isn’t prepared for—love so deep it hurts, sex so hot she’s afraid she’ll melt from the pleasure, and a future beyond her wildest dreams.
Steamy businessman Cade Jackson has it all—money, looks, a giving heart, and a dominant nature—but Ella refuses to date a client even if she’s lusted after him for a year. After his brother’s death, Garrett Winthrop moves back to town opening old wounds and even darker fantasies. Dr. Derek McGregor gives her balance and understanding that speaks to her soul. All three men force Ella to question the limits of a traditional relationship.
Amazon US: http://amzn.to/2G82I3N
Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/2DMG1wN
Barnes and Noble: https://tinyurl.com/y8sjdgcn
The Wild Rose Press: http://tinyurl.com/LoresTWRP
Anna Lores started writing romance as a by-product of insomnia. After a year of late-night reading, she borrowed her son’s laptop after he went to bed and set about breathing life to her very own characters. After a month, she was surprised with a new laptop to pursue her dreams.
With a B.A. in English Literature and a desire to fill her world with wonderful stories she and her close friends could not just talk about but gush over, Anna shed the job as mom of three in the late night hours and assumed her alter ego of Dirty Girl.
9 thoughts on “Guest Post: Anna Lores, author of steamy erotic romance”
Like all writers, I’ve experienced those soul-crushing moments myself. More than a few times. Like you said, you have to look to next play, get back on the horse and most of all, remember that it is ONE person’s opinion. That knowledge has helped me more than anything. I also note that there are lots of bestselling books that people rave about that I hated (if I even bothered to finish them). So, it really is very subjective. Thanks for your candid words on a difficult subject. Cheers!
Thank you for hosting me today and talking about the often painful subject of rejection.
Oh my gosh, I can’t believe a “professional” would write something like that. No one deserves a critique like that, ever. I’m so glad you decided to move past it–look how far you’ve come! Congratulations on the book and keep writing!
Wonderful post, Anna. Out of the ashes and your tears, a new writer emerged forth! And look at you now! I can share similar rejections, and one-star reviews. They knocked me to the ground. Yet, in my heart, I know the value of my stories and so do my readers. Wishing you all the best!
Very inspiring post, Anna. Rejection is painful and most authors have received countless rejections. I had a moment such as your where I though of quitting, but for some reason, I kept writing. Mind you, I still hear that editor’s snarky voice in the back of my mind. Best of luck with your writing.
What a horrible thing for a “professional” editor to say. Someone with an attitude like that shouldn’t be in this business.
That was definitely a mean-spirited rejection. Happily you overcame it and kept writing, with wonderful results. Love the sound of your book. Best wishes with it. And thanks for sharing.
Those non-constructive, hurtful (or lack of — nothing beats sending a full manuscript and six months later getting a form rejection with no feedback!) comments can really take a toll on our mindset and spirit. I like your sports analogy. We need to brush them off and move on. I had one judge from a contest years and years ago tell me she thought English was my second language – ouch, for a native/born English speaker. What I took from that is that I needed a bit of polish on some grammar rules. Grammar is still not my BFF but I strive for excellence on that front and triple-check everything, run by friends, and read Grammar Girl (or the stacks of grammar books near my desk) when in doubt. Always learning, absorbing, and applying to future work. Good luck on your endeavors and thanks for sharing!
I particularly liked your comment that a rejection is one person’s opinion. I work in a library and a lot of books that are popular, I have zero interest in and don’t even pick up. At the same time, I am careful when someone asks me what is a great book I’ve read recently, making sure they have similar tastes as me. If not, I steer them elsewhere. I’ve learned over the years that only a few readers love the same books I do. And isn’t it a wonderful thing that we all have different stories that call to us? It’s what makes the world so rich and interesting. Cheers!